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Sunday, January 17, 2010

Compassion

I’ve realized that most writers are narcissists, and I am no exception. Who but a narcissist would broadcast their opinions and feelings for the world to see (or even just for facebook to see) and assume that people will care? Yes, as much as I try to keep it in check, I’m pretty self-involved. So are you, probably. That being said, there is nothing like a 7.0 Earthquake to put things in perspective.

As cliché as it may sound, it’s difficult to worry about things like losing an iPod or getting a traffic ticket (both of which happened to me this weekend) when there are millions of people with no food, water, or shelter in Haiti at this very moment. The images that I’ve been watching on the news are so unreal, but at the same time so incredibly real that they immediately bring tears to my eyes. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be surrounded by bodies, especially if some of those were the bodies of family members and friends. I can’t imagine watching my home be destroyed and to have to wait for days for help to arrive.

The interesting thing about a disaster like this is that it has the capacity to bring out both the best and the worst in people. The worst: people who started fundraising scams in an attempt to steal from those wanting to donate to the relief effort, or painfully vapid actress Taylor Momsen’s comment about being too busy with her record and her TV show to think about Haiti. The best: the flood of donations and support from all over the world, nations and people putting aside their differences to help those in need, and the tremendous acts of bravery and strength that are taking place in Haiti as we speak.

Still, there are the cynics. When something like this happens and there is an outpouring of generosity and concern, some feel compelled to point out that “Haitians needed help before the Earthquake but nobody cared then”. This is for the most part true, but so what? I don’t understand how that mentality helps in any way at all. Yes, it would be nice if it didn’t take an earthquake or a hurricane or a tsunami to bring out the best in people, but it does. And it’s better late than never.

My personal opinion is that if you are able to help in any way at all, it is your responsibility as a compassionate human being to do so. And there are plenty of legit ways to help, so I will list a few in case someone is actually reading this:

Red Cross: http://www.redcross.org/en/ or text 'HAITI' to 90999
Oxfam (water distribution): http://www.oxfam.org/
World Food Program-donate to my personal WFP fund raising page and help me reach my goal of $1000: www.mycampaign.kintera.org/jbhaiti

REMEMBER…what goes around comes around!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

"Filtering"

It’s 2010! Astoundingly, this New Years Eve was actually fun—maybe it was the 24 hour champagne diet, or maybe it was a sign that this is going to be a great year. Either way, I’m optimistic…I know, easy for me to say five days in. Still, I feel much more prepared and informed coming into this decade than I was at the start of the last one. As much as I still don’t know, I’ve learned a few key life lessons thus far…which brings me to today’s topic. In honor of fresh starts and clean slates, I present to you something my friends and I refer to as “filtering”.

Listen…I’m all for loyalty, and there are people that I can speak to once every six months and still feel close to. The concept of “ride or die” is not lost on me. However, I’ve also come to realize that every single friendship I’ve accumulated over the years does not have to be dutifully preserved—especially if it is clearly past its expiration date. Those relationships are the ones that need to be “filtered”. Yes, “filtered”…like bacteria-ridden drinking water. Get it?

Admit it…we all have people in our lives that bring nothing to the table. I mean the people who only call when they need a favor, or the hot guy who constantly flakes on you, or the friend who can talk about herself for hours and never once ask you how your life is going. It seems that many of us feel we have to keep these people in our lives even when the sight of their name on our caller I.D. induces feelings of disgust. I say, for what?

The way it was explained to me once was that every bit of energy and effort put into people like this leaves less for us to put into ourselves and other, more deserving people. In other words, in order for us to meet great people and have amazing things happen to us, we have to make space in our lives for them first. It’s basic logic, really.

A quick disclaimer: I am not a proponent of filtering immediate family members, no matter how crazy they can be (really, really crazy sometimes, I know). There are other people that can’t be easily filtered as well, like baby daddies. I think it’s important for us to learn how to coexist with and even appreciate these people, since we’re stuck with them for a reason. But in my mind, that’s all the more reason to trim the fat where you can.

Just try it…filter me if you want. If this blog makes you want to puke and you are thinking to yourself how annoying and holier-than-thou I am, just FILTER me! Un-friend me on Facebook! Un-follow me on Twitter! Don’t answer my phone calls! Or do…either way, take my advice. Life is too short—or too long—to be surrounded by people who don’t bring out the best in us.